Michelangelo

Whenever I'm as still as I can be in this world...I just keep hearing God only ever say one little line to me over and over and he's been saying it for the past 2 years. That I'll be better than I ever was. And this is the hard part. He never did say when. If you knew me well enough you'd know I have little patience and yet I find myself in the position of always waiting. Inside I feel irritable that God didn't make me a Michelangelo. A great heart and passion for the love of beauty anywhere I can find it on earth or in heaven but unable to express it as I wish to when I actually know it. I suppose when you've seen angels things can become complicated. Michelangelo used to pray that God would grant him the ability to do more than he thought he could accomplish just so he could try and accomplish it. A man with the patience of Job. In the last few years I've traveled a mountain of a road. The loss of Karma has terribly saddened my soul among other things. How can I ever be better than I ever was? But I Know I've made some progress. I've been told don't mock the process of things. But I don't want to walk I want to run. I get so tired of my somber moods and irritability when Christ's kingdom has come. The things I know in my head usually do not light up my heart. But hearts are much like the weather you'll find the tempest and sunny skies all within the same day. I pray that God draws near me because I find at times I'm still running away. I want to run or complain or be sad or laugh or rest anything at all but be creative. Anything at all but use my gift and let my words collide upon paper. So I pray as often as I can that Christ takes hold of me. He is the only one that can.