Crash

Today was Karma's Birthday. I have this recurring dream that we are walking in the sunlight at somewhere and some when holding a deep conversation about God's glory I have yet to see and of the angels I have yet to hear sing. I dreamed this dream today in the early morning hours. I tell her how much I miss her but that its all right because I'm sure heaven is too beautiful for her to miss too many minutes of.

Today I'm not sad instead I can only think of hallelujahs for the friend that she was. I can only be thankful for the what I have's rather than the what I have not's. I keep thinking about that day in the bookstore as we sat in leather chairs and cradled our coffee cups. I read her a few scattered pages of my poetry. She said I was too gifted and blessed not to be a writer. She said I needed to start writing books and after that day I did start writing one. I just wanted to see if I could . When I had finished it two years later she was not surprised. And whenever I wanted to give up and stop writing she would say "This gift God has given you its not going anywhere this is standard for your life. It's a blessing and it's just who you are. God is only going to heal you and breathe more life into you and then what are you going to do?"

I thought my dream had burned up like cinder. I was too tired then. But..I think I am a foolish phoenix. Today, I want to pluck my dream down as if it were a ripe peach. Today, I want to crash into God and let the crescendo of his love ripple back to me.